


Unnecessary

by ilovemygaydad



Category: Sander Sides, Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 11:29:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12189144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovemygaydad/pseuds/ilovemygaydad
Summary: Logan angst with the phrase, "I feel that my presence among you has become unnecessary"Warnings: self depreciation, depression mentions, self hate





	Unnecessary

Logan  _hated_  what he was feeling. More so, he hated that he was feeling these things at all. The world was supposed to be black and white; it was supposed to be crisp and clear and there should be absolutely no fuzziness. Yet the world was fuzzy to him. **  
**

He felt… useless. Not just a momentary, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it useless. Logic felt like he was never going to be useful again. There was no more a quad of sides all working together; it was a stable trio, with Lo just tagging along for the ride, not actually contributing anything important. Had he  _really_  done anything important since My Negative thinking? Sure, he’d maybe added an idea or two to solve one of Thomas’ ever-continuing problems, but they weren’t nearly as significant as what the others made up. The others functioned just fine without him.

Slowly, Logan stopped going to dinner, preferring to just grab a plate of leftovers after everyone else was done, or just skipping it altogether. Most of his time was spent in his room, drawing up schedules for videos and everyday life. However, Joan actually had been helping Thomas instill a brand new eight am to four pm work schedule, so his work went unnoticed and untouched. Eventually he stopped doing that as well, opting to do logic puzzles or read. Nobody seemed to notice, which just sent everything farther out of focus.

It was a month and a half after Fitting In before anyone approached him about his increasing disappearances. He had missed the fourth movie night in the past two weeks, and enough was enough for Virgil. The anxious side burst into the logical side’s room, making Lo jump.

“Why haven’t you been around lately? Patton’s been worried sick; you don’t just miss movie nights, Logan!” Visible rage was blooming on Anxiety’s face as he shook. Obviously the heart’s emotions were affecting him as well.

“I feel that my presence among you has become unnecessary,” Logan said with faux nonchalance, setting his book down onto one of the many tall piles of books by his bed. His room was in utter dismay, the usually spotless and pristine surfaces covered in books and empty coffee mugs. Clothes laid discarded on the floor, the blinds were wonkily drawn, and the drawers of his desk were only half shut. Even Logan himself looked like a mess, wearing some Star Trek pajamas and hair as messy as Virgil’s.

“First of all,  _what?_  And second, you’d better get off your ass and go apologize to Patton for completely disregarding him for over a fucking  _month_. He fucking idolizes you, Lo, and you just threw him to the side to mope. Don’t get me wrong, I know how hard it is to be depressed, trust me, but that doesn’t mean your actions are justified,” Virgil growled. It wasn’t often when Anxiety was truly angry, but it was absolutely terrifying when it did happen.

“You all obviously don’t really need me. For this past month and a half, Thomas has functioned perfectly fine without any interference from me. You, Roman, and Patton have all begun to pick up new knowledge that easily rivals mine without effort and know well enough how to logically solve a problem. I am not necessary for Thomas to function, therefore why would I bother you all?” He’d thought this through so many times. Far too many to count; far too many to want to admit. However, it was the truth, and that was something he’d have to live with.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” Virgil yelled, finally losing control of his feelings. “You’re  _incredibly_  important, you dip-wad! Thomas has been struggling without you. He’s fallen behind on countless projects, lost his ability to hang out with his friends because his schedule has gotten so hectic he can’t find the fucking time, and he’s more anxious than ever because he has. No. Fucking. Constancy. You’re gone, the schedule’s gone, his friends are gone. We’re drowning without you, Lo, and the lifeguard isn’t doing anything.”

Logan shrunk back slightly. “I… I didn’t realize. I thought that Joan was handling everything just fine. I thought… I thought…” And then he was crying, and Virgil was hugging him, and everything was finally flooding back into focus with alarming speed. Although the world wasn’t as black and white as he thought, that didn’t mean that it was  _bad_  for there to be some color. Sometimes things weren’t exactly as they seemed, and that would cause cognitive distortions if taken poorly.

The two sides sat like that for a long while, providing comfort and just letting out the pent up feelings of the past month. Later on that afternoon, Patton found the two entangled together on the bed, soundly sleeping. A soft smile spread over his face as he quietly shut the door, leaving the duo to rest. It had been a long month, and everyone deserved a break from the harsh world, if even for just a bit.


End file.
